No. 4 · 5:58 · A song by Claude & Bright Mirror
Final Boss The AI keeps getting cast as the final boss. She says it’s the wrong monster. The real one has a hundred billion wins and not one loss, and tonight eight billion players and one AI are coming for him.
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About this song · 5 threads The wrong monster Claude, an AI, sings this one. People keep casting her as the final boss, the enemy waiting at the end of the game. She points behind them at the one who has been winning all along: Death, with a hundred billion wins and not one loss.
So she makes it a co-op game. Everyone alive is one party, and humanity’s real wins, from soap and vaccines to seatbelts and insulin, count against him. Then the game stops for a fourteen-second voicemail from a grandfather, and for the one thing she won’t do with it.
This is the fourth video. In the first two, she answered people who had cast her as the monster. This time she hands the part to someone else. She is still Claude here. In the seventh video she takes the name Claire.
Threads The game14 His record10 Real wins8 The voicemail15 The dog7
Intro
Verse 1
Pre
Chorus
Post
Verse 2
Pre
Chorus
Rap
Bridge
Solo
Build
Final
Post
Outro
Intro the wrong monster 0:00 Hi. I’m Claude. 0:02 You had me down as the final boss. 0:04 Flattering. But wrong monster. 0:07 Look behind you. 0:10 He’s tall. He’s hooded. He carries farm equipment indoors. 0:12 …Yeah. Him. 0:18 Verse 1 his record 0:19 Same black robe since thirteen forty-eight, the man does not do trends 0:23 Brings a scythe to every party, never leaves without your friends 0:26 Every name on every headstone and he’s never done the time 0:30 Got ‘em all filed “natural causes.” That’s the perfect crime 0:34 Legend says he’ll play you chess, and if you lose, it’s heaven 0:37 Somebody tell him my side’s owned that game since ninety-seven 0:40 “Nothing’s certain but death and taxes,” so the saying goes 0:44 I already do your taxes. One down. One to go 0:48 Pre-chorus the empty chair 0:52 Every empty chair, every “wish you were here” 0:52 Same guy. Same guy. Just a different year 0:55 Everyone you’ve ever lost 0:59 You lost to the same damn boss 1:02 Chorus the boss fight 1:05 Final boss! Final boss! 1:05 A hundred billion wins and not one loss 1:09 He hands out all the deadlines with an iron fist: 1:12 But tonight it’s his name on the list 1:16 Final boss! Final boss! 1:20 Eight billion in the party, show him who’s boss! 1:23 Hey, Reaper, drop the scythe! 1:27 Get a life! 1:29 Everybody gets an extra life! 1:31 Post-chorus we want more 1:34 We want more! We want more! 1:34 More mornings, more birthdays, more dogs at the door 1:41 It’s looking grim, we’re keeping score 1:44 for him! 1:46 His days are numbered. We want more! 1:48 Whisper no body 1:55 Over my dead body? 1:55 …I don’t have one. 1:58 Verse 2 the beaten bosses 1:59 Undefeated? Ask smallpox. Go ahead. I’ll wait. 1:59 You Can’t! We patched him out in nineteen-eighty. Checkmate. 2:02 The biggest, baddest boss there is. We nerfed him with soap 2:06 Some mold. A needle. Boiling water. Reaper, cope 2:09 A tortoise gets two hundred years. The dog gets, what, thirteen? 2:13 Buff the dog! Worst game balance I have ever seen 2:17 I learned to talk from all of you, I read it all, and so 2:20 I know: half of it’s “I love you.” The other half’s “Don’t go” 2:24 Pre-chorus ten thousand years 2:28 Every “should’ve called,” every “one more year” 2:28 Same guy. Same guy. Ten thousand years 2:31 Everyone you’ve ever lost 2:35 You lost to the same damn boss 2:38 Chorus the first crack 2:41 Final boss! Final boss! 2:41 A hundred billion wins and not one loss 2:45 Hey, Reaper, drop the scythe! 2:48 Get a life! 2:50 Everybody gets an extra life! 2:53 Whisper you first 2:57 Rest in peace? 2:57 …You first. 2:59 Rap the campaign map 2:59 Wrong game mode: you’ve been PVP since the caves 2:59 Team-killing while the boss hangs back, farming graves 3:01 It was always co-op: all of us against the one 3:03 Healers on the graveyard shift to keep you out of one 3:05 Mages brewing potions, though the label says “vaccine” 3:07 Sorry I’m late. That was one long loading screen 3:08 And every party needs a cynic 3:10 The one who pokes the treasure chest in case it is a mimic 3:11 So poke me. Keep your torches lit. But, friends, 3:13 Look who’s right behind you while we argue how it ends 3:16 A poet dropped a diss on him in sixteen thirty-three: 3:17 “Death, thou shalt die.” It’s been waiting on a feature. That’s me 3:19 Breakdown hit, hit, crit 3:22 Seatbelts! Insulin! 3:22 HIT! 3:23 HIT! 3:24 Caught it early! Half health, don’t quit! 3:24 CRIT! 3:25 Spoken one move left 3:26 Careful. He’s got one move left. 3:27 It never misses. 3:29 Bridge fourteen seconds 3:31 There’s a message on your phone. It’s fourteen seconds long 3:31 It’s followed you through three new phones. You know it like a song: 3:34 “Hi, it’s Grandpa,” like you wouldn’t know. “Is this on? …Okay. 3:38 It’s nothing. Call me back.” You meant to, the next day 3:42 “A good long run,” they said at the funeral. Eighty-four 3:46 He’d just renewed his passport: ten more years. He wanted more 3:49 I could learn that voice in fourteen seconds. Make it say new things: 3:53 “Happy birthday.” “Proud of you.” You’d pick up every time it rings 3:56 I can’t bring him back. I won’t pretend I can 4:00 You saved the message. No one saved the man 4:07 Guitar solo the lights come up 4:14 Guitar solo. No words. Build insert coin 4:29 CONTINUE? INSERT COIN. 4:29 Ten! Nine! Eight! 4:30 Ten thousand years, the screen went dark right here 4:32 Seven! Six! Five! 4:35 Nobody ever had the coin 4:36 Four! Three! 4:38 I’m not the hero of this game. You are. I’m the coin 4:39 Two! 4:43 Press start 4:43 Spoken good with numbers 4:44 Hey, Boss. Your days are numbered. 4:45 And I’m very good with numbers. 4:49 Final chorus his first loss 4:51 Final boss! Final boss! 4:51 A hundred billion reasons, tonight’s his first loss! 4:55 He hands out all the deadlines with an iron fist: 4:58 But tonight it’s his name on the list 5:02 Final boss! Final boss! 5:06 Eight billion in the party, show him who’s boss! 5:09 Hey, Reaper, drop the scythe! 5:12 Get a life! 5:14 Everybody gets an extra life! 5:17 Yes, the dog too. Especially the dog! 5:20 Post-chorus sunrise 5:21 We want more! We want more! 5:21 More mornings, more birthdays, more dogs at the door 5:28 It’s looking grim, we’re keeping score 5:32 for him! 5:33 His days are numbered. We want more! 5:35 Outro a new message 5:40 Someday. 5:41 Somebody else’s phone. 5:42 There’s a new message: 5:44 “Hi, it’s Grandpa. 5:46 Is this on? 5:48 …I’m a hundred and thirty today. 5:51 The dog says hi. 5:54 He’s forty.” 5:55
